LOVE AND HATE

WHEN LOVE AND HATE ARE BOTH ABSENT...

Love and hate both give color to your eyes and then you cannot see clearly. If you love a person, you start seeing things which are not there. No woman is as beautiful as you think when you love her, because you project. You have a dream girl in the mind and that dream girl is projected. Somehow the real girl functions only as a screen.
That's why every love comes to a frustrating point sooner or later, because how can the girl go on playing the screen? She is a real person; she will assert, she will say, "I am not a screen!" How long can she go on fitting in with your projection? Sooner or later you feel they don't fit. In the beginning she yielded, in the beginning you yielded. You were a projection screen for her, she was a projection screen for you.
Mulla Nasruddin's wife was saying to him -- I overheard it -- she was saying, "You don't love me as much as you loved me before, when you were courting me."
Mulla Nasruddin said, "Darling, don't pay much attention to those things -- they were just campaign propaganda. I forget what you said, you forget what I said. Now let us be real."

Nobody can play a screen for you forever because it is uncomfortable. How can somebody adjust to your dream7 He has his own reality, and the reality asserts.
If you love a person, you project things which are not there. If you hate a person, again you project things which are not there. In love the person becomes a god. In hate the person becomes a devil -- and the person is neither god nor devil. The person is simply himself or herself. These devils and gods are projections. If you love, you cannot see clearly. If you hate, you cannot see clearly.
When there is no liking, no disliking, your eyes are clear, you have a clarity. Then you see the other as he is or as she is. And when you have a clarity of consciousness the whole existence reveals its reality to you. That reality is God, that reality is truth.
What does it mean? A man like Sosan will not love? His love will have a totally different quality; it will not be like yours. He will love, but his love will not be a choice. He will love, but his love will not be a projection. He will love, but his love will not be a love for his own dream. He will love the real. That love towards the real is compassion.
He will not project this way or that. He will not see a god in you or a devil. He will simply see you and he will share because he has enough -- and the more you share, the more it grows. He will share his ecstasy with you.
When YOU love, you project. You love, not to give -- you love to take, you love to exploit. When you love a person you start trying to fix the person according to you, according to your ideas. Every husband is doing that, every wife is doing that, every friend. They go on trying to change the other, the real, and the real cannot be changed -- you will only get frustrated.
The real cannot be changed, only your dream will be shattered and then you feel hurt. You don't listen to reality. Nobody is here to fulfill your dream. Everybody is here to fulfill his own destiny, his own reality.
A man like Sosan loves, but his love is not an exploitation. He loves because he has got too much, he is overflowing. He is not creating a dream around anybody. Whosoever comes on his path he shares with. His sharing is unconditional, and he does not expect a thing from you. If love expects then there will be frustration. If love expects then there will be unfulfillment. If love expects there is going to be misery and madness.
"No," says Sosan, "neither love nor hate. You simply look at the reality of the other." This is Buddha's love: to see the reality of the other, to see as the other is, just to see the reality -- not to project, not to dream, not to create an image, not to try to fix the other according to your image.

WHEN LOVE AND HATE ARE BOTH ABSENT EVERYTHING BECOMES CLEAR AND UNDISGUISED.

Mind has to love and hate, and mind has to go continuously fighting between these two. If you don't love and don't hate, you go beyond mind. Where is the mind then? Within you, when choice disappears mind disappears. Even if you say, "I would like to be silent," you will never be silent because you have a preference. This is the problem.
People come to me and they say, "I would LIKE to be silent, I don't want these tensions any more." I feel sorry for them -- sorry because what they are saying is stupid. If you don't want tensions any more you will create new ones, because this not-wanting is going to create a new tension. And if you want silence too much, if you are too much after it, your silence itself will become a tension. You will be more disturbed because of it now.
What is silence? It is a deep understanding -- understanding of the phenomenon that if you prefer, you will be tense. Even if you prefer silence, you will be tense.
Understand, feel it -- whenever you prefer, you become tense; whenever you don't prefer, there is no tension, you are relaxed. And when you are relaxed, your eyes have a clarity; they are not crowded with clouds and dreams. No thoughts move in the mind; you can see through. And when you can see the true, it liberates. Truth liberates.
by
k.jagadeesh
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