JAGADEESH KRISHNAN

India is an ancient land and the birth place of many sciences, particularly sexology. A book of tremendous importance, by Vatsyayana, has been in existence for five thousand years. The name of the book is KAMASUTRAS, hints for making love. And it comes from a man of deep meditation -- he has created eighty-four postures for lovemaking. Naturally the love posture should change; otherwise you are bound to be boring. Vatsyayana recognizes the fact that the same love posture creates boredom, a feeling of utter stupidity, because you are always doing the same thing. He invented eighty-four postures to make the love life of couples a little interesting. Nobody in the whole world has written a book of the caliber of KAMASUTRAS. But it could only have come from a man of immense clarity, of deep meditativeness. What is your lovemaking? If you look at your lovemaking, you yourself will feel that it is all boring. And particularly for the woman it is more boring, because the man is finished in two or three minutes and the woman has not even started. And all around the world, cultures have enforced in the minds of women that they are not supposed even to enjoy or move or be playful -- that is called `dirty'; prostitutes do it, not ladies. Ladies have to lie down almost dead and let that old guy do whatsoever he wants to do; it is nothing new, there is nothing new even to see. You should not take it as a personal disrespect. Your girlfriend is telling you something really sincere and honest. Have you given her orgasmic joy? Or have you only used her to throw out your sexual energy? Have you reduced her into a commodity? She has been conditioned to accept it, but even this accepting cannot be joyful. You make love on the same bed where you fight every day. In fact fighting is the preface: throwing pillows, shouting at each other, arguing about everything and then, feeling tired, some negotiation is needed. Your love is only a negotiation. If you are a man of aesthetic sensibility, your love chamber should be a sacred place, because it is in that love chamber that life is born. It should have beautiful flowers, incense, fragrance; you should enter into it with deep respect. And love should not be just an abrupt thing -- grab the woman. This hit-and-run affair is not love. Love should have a preface of beautiful music, of dancing together, of meditating together. And love should not be a mind thing -- that you are continuously thinking of how to make love and then go to sleep. Love should be a deeper involvement of your whole being, and it should not be projected by the mind, but should come out spontaneously. Beautiful music, fragrance, you are dancing hand in hand, you have again become small children playing with flowers... If spontaneously love happens in this sacred atmosphere it will have a different quality. You should understand that the woman is capable of multiple orgasms, because she does not lose any energy. Man is capable of only one orgasm and he loses energy, looks depressed. Even the next morning you can see his hangover, and as he goes on growing older it becomes more and more difficult. This difference has to be understood. The woman is on the receptive end -- she has to be, because she has to become a mother, she needs more energy. But her orgasm has a totally different way of happening. Man's sexuality is local, like local anesthesia. A woman's body is sexual all over, and unless her whole body starts trembling with joy, each cell of her body starts becoming involved, she cannot have an orgasmic explosion. So it is not only in your case, it is the case for almost ninety-nine percent of women around the world. The whole situation has to be changed. The woman should not be under the man. In the first place it is ugly -- man has a stronger body, the woman is more fragile. She should be on top of the man, not the man on top of the woman. Secondly, man should remain silent, inactive, so that his orgasm is not finished within two minutes. If you are silent and let the woman go crazy on top of your chest it will give her good exercise and it will bring her to an explosion of orgasmic energy. It takes time for her whole body to warm up, and if you are not inactive there is no time. So you meet, but the meeting is not of beauty, of love, but just utilitarian. Veetkam, try with your girlfriend what I am saying. You be the inactive partner and let her be the active partner. Allow her to be uninhibited. She has not to behave like a lady, she has to behave like an authentic woman. The lady is just created by man; woman is created by existence. You have to fill the gap between her orgasms. The gap can be filled in only one way, that you remain very inactive, silent, and enjoy her going crazy. And she will have multiple orgasms. You should end the game by your orgasm, but you should not begin with it. And your woman will not call you a little boring. You will be a really interesting, real wonderful guy who is behaving like a lady! Keep your eyes closed so that she is not inhibited by your eyes. So she can do anything -- movement of the hands, movement of the body, moaning, groaning, shouting... Until she says, "Hari Om Tat Sat!" you are not allowed to be alive, you simply remain silent. This should be the indication. "Hari Om Tat Sat" simply means: this orgasmic explosion, this is the truth. Then she will be mad after you. Right now you must be behaving stupidly, as most of the men in the world do. The second thing you say: "My girlfriend is saying that I am not very juicy." So become a little more juicy! To become juicy is not very difficult. The juice of all kinds of fruits is available everywhere. Drink more juice, less solid food. She is giving you good advice and you in your stupidity are thinking that she is condemning you. When she says, "You are very dependent and a victim," I can see even through your question that she is right. A victim you are, just as every human being is a victim -- a victim of stupid ideologies, which have created strange guilt feelings and do not allow you to be playful. Although you may be making love, you know you are committing a sin and that hell is not far off. Becky Goldberg was telling Goldberg, "You are a great lover." Goldberg said, "But you never told me this before. I was waiting for somebody to say that I am a great lover, but I dropped the idea because it seems I am not." Becky Goldberg said to him, "No, you are a great lover, and I wanted to say it to you many times, but you were not there!" ... making love to Becky, and Goldberg is not there. He is counting his money, doing his accounts, and his mind is doing thousands of things. In every bed where there are two lovers there are at least -- I mean minimum -- four people. There are more inventive people -- they may have a whole crowd in the bed. The woman is making love to Goldberg and thinking of Muhammad Ali. Goldberg is making love as a duty and is thinking of so many beautiful actresses; but his mind is not there, and neither is his wife's mind there. Their minds are in their dreams. 
 By
k.jagadeesh
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